Peanut Butter, Pasta, BFF

"I just get nutted up over being told I can only have "this much" cheese." "Me too, sister. Me too. And who the fuck eats ONE TEASPOON of peanut butter???" (real convo I had over biscuits and grave at a local diner with friends...no regrets) Even after having lost +80 lbs. my pulse still quickens and I start to sweat at the thought of "measuring" my food. I have this visceral reaction to food restriction It has been my "go to" in times of stress throughout my life (which is painfully evident in my fat kid school photos) and then became this demon during my early 20's as I struggled with bulimia. The thought of restricting the ancient tool I have to used to ease stress...it gets very stressful. Even now. And I see you struggle with it, too, by blaming it on pregnancy and childbirth, your metabolism, your genes, your body type., your age, your thyroid...not the jars of peanut butter, the pans of pasta and the pounds of cheese. Why?

Because they are ALWAYS there for you AND

You won't throw your best friends under the bus. I get it. I KNOW. The truth is: diets DO work. Whether you choose shitty foods or healthy foods, those diets are working. One is working on keeping you fat and sick.

The other is working on keeping you healthy and leaner.

What muddies the waters is that you have confused FOOD for FRIENDSHIP; for EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, For whatever reason, you have learned to push feelings down by eating them, It wasn't wrong, it was survival. NO SHAME. I have too! If you want to get fit, by losing weight, building muscle, increasing stamina, agility or strength you must accept the fact that food is NOT your friend. It is FUEL.

...and honestly? That sentence still makes me anxious, because in times of stress or high emotion I still run to food....only now more often than not it is a Pampered Chef batter bowl of veggies and a vat of fat free salad dressing (the hard chew triggers your brain to do something, but more on that later....)

You can do this. But you will need to get honest with yourself about your relationship with food. Diets DO work.

100% of the time. Yours is working for you right now.