Lab Rat

So I was invited to participate in a Fitness Test Group to test and prove the effectiveness of a new program my company has released. Basically you sign your life away for a certain period of time, follow strict protocols and report everything. Like a lab rat, running a maze.....only I have to make the cheese along the way.

Why am I doing this? Why would ANYONE do this?

Well last year I trained for a physique competition, and by "trained" I mean I paid a Personal Trainer/coach to whip me into shape to walk across the stage in a itty bitty sequined bikini and hooker heals. She assured me that I most definitely COULD be stage ready in the amount of time we had (one year). At first things were great. I met with the coach, I posted on social media, I ate tuna and cream of rice......ya know, fun stuff. LOL But as soon as I started to see results, I freaked out. I don't know why. All I could think about was being more than half naked on stage. I kept putting myself in the future with NO RESULTS and freaking OUT over the thought. Wine and pizza crept back into my diet. I missed workouts. My weekly photos stopped improving and my voice got a little softer about this thing I was gonna do.. I did manage to feel and look okay in a bikini when I took Rick on vacation to Punta Cana....... I did NOT compete. Personal Training is my business, stage competition is not, It was a pipe dream. A Bucket list item.. I have been pretty relaxed for over a year. I gained some weight back.. I lost some strength and definition. I was looking for balance, and boy did I find it. So when this opportunity/invitation came to me I knew it was something I had to do. Not for a stage. Not for a bikini. But for me to reach a level of fitness that I have hid from. Why? Well hell...I don't know. We can venture into psycho-babble about fat being a wall that keeps others away, but I really think is just numbs us to our own voice. Blah. Enough of that for now. This is Day 2 of 80 for me. Daily Functional Training....which is a bit different than what I love and what I am comfortable with

Time Nutrient Nutrition (meaning I eat very specific foods every two hours with special attention to pre and post workout feeding). This is VERY similar to the program I had to get ready for the stage. The difference? I am not envisioning this soft belly and squooshy ass pressed into sequins in front of thousands of eyes. This time I am "testing" the program with a group of amazing women that I can go to for support 24/7. They won't humor my excuses or complaints, because they are sore and hungry too...LOL. But they will remind me that I am not alone and it is only as hard as I make it. So here I am. A lab rat, making choices to create that hunk of cheese at the end. Will I make a hunk of amazing cheese, or will I get to the end of the 80 days with nothing to show? April 5th we'll know.